Before I go into more detail about myself I think it is important for me to dive deeper into my ‘why?’ In a lot of my posts I will be referring to times in my life that have lead to certain events, feelings or experiences. Don’t worry, I am not going to bombard you with my entire life story; but in order to understand the purpose of my writing I feel it is important to have an idea about who I am. Also, this will allow me to relate to readers who have led similar lives to myself. Then as I continue to put out posts I can dive deeper into the different aspects of my life as they fit. 

Let’s talk about the blog. I decided to write this blog because some of the biggest challenges in my life have been strongly impacted by my inability to be carefree, independent, or adventurous. I believed I was just a timid, shy, and safe person who would be on the path that society has created for us to follow, because that felt safe and not scary. 

For a long time I didn’t realize that these qualities stemmed from my mind, something I could develop and change. I thought these qualities described who I am at the core. However, there was this urge in my heart that desired to be carefree, to be adventures and never settle or become stagnant. To always grow. 

As you follow my journey you will see that any moment in my life where I stopped growing as an individual and became stagnant, something BIG happened. And it usually wasn’t a pleasant experience. But the change took place because my heart would not allow me to be restricted by the binds of my mind. The unpleasant experience allowed me to break free from a “safe” place and become a little bit better of a version of myself.

I thought about keeping this blog private for my own reflections and to organize my thoughts. I also thought about keeping this blog private because I was embarrassed, and did not want people to think negative things about me. I kept thinking, “who would want to hear my story or thoughts?” But I realized that that was my mind talking, telling me that my story is not good enough to share, and my feelings are not valid, but they are. All of ours are.

My story is not yet over and I would like to enter a community where I can reflect and improve myself with the support from others. And if I can help and support one other person then it is all worth while.

My battle with anxiety, and limitation of my thoughts are sprinkled throughout my life for as long as I can remember. Almost stopping me, sometimes actually stopping me from following my dreams. Sounds cliche, but it’s real. From my college dreams to my professional career; from my physical health to my relationships and friendships; I’ve always been faced with the decision of following my carefree heart or my careful mind. Hopefully one of these topics resonates with you and my experience can help you or your experience can help me.